The students return

A colleague said to me yesterday, "You've been looking more and more stressed all week", which wasn't very reassuring, but didn't really surprise me. Nothing particuarly stressful happened this week, I think it was just a lot busier than previous weeks. It was one of those weeks where I had a list of things to do, and did some of them, but the last few things never got done because either something beyond my control stopped me from completing the task or something (or many things) cropped up and I never got round to finishing the thing I started doing. [Whoops that was a bit of a long sentence!] I realise this doesn't say much for my time management skills, which are something I should work on.

We were without a printer in our office for half the week, due to me thinking we had a spare cartridge ready and waiting, but this turned out to be an old cartridge wrapped up in a box. Oops. Totally my fault and very annoying, because we then had to walk halfway round the library (well, nearly) to collect our printing. Still, at least we could print to somewhere.

I had some appraiser training yesterday, which was helpful, but domintated by an academic member of staff who kept bringing round the discussion to suit his agenda. On the one hand, this was an interesting insight into the working practices and attitudes of academics, but on the other it was a waste of time when we were already trying to fit in six hours of training into a two hour session, and I was really anxious to learn what to do, as I've never appraised anyone before.

I have my own appraisal sometime next week (?), with our line manager who doesn't like doing appraisals and apparantly doesn't follow the proper procedure - despite being quite pedantic about following proper procedure to the point of annoyance at most other times. So, I'm not sure how much use my appraisal will be, but I'll fill the forms in and take them to him anyway, whether or not he wants to use them.

On a more enjoyable note, the office was alive with the sound of music this week - even more so than usual, I thought. We also had some ad hoc 'entertainment' from the garden outside, when a few students were gathered for an impromptu guitar/singing session. This varied in terms of levels of annoyance depending on what type of music was being played. I was quite irritated at first, but then mellowed when he changed from rock to folk and stopped yelling so much. My librarian tendencies were urging me to go outside and tell him to shut up, but I resisted.

Writing of unwelcome musical accompaniment (the student, not my colleagues), the most maddening thing about travelling on the train at the moment (even more so than the overcrowding, which is increasingly bad and getting to dangerous levels) is people who play their mp3 players/mobile phone out loud, so that we are all subjected to their taste in (mostly awful) 'music'. I don't know how can people be so inconsiderate. I have asked some lads to turn their music off before, and they asked, "Why?". Maybe that says it all.

I do feel like dancing (maybe): What's playing today at Lilian's house

I'm totally addicted to the Scissor Sisters' single "I don't feel like dancing". It's the catchiest thing I've heard in a long time and I've been playing it on repeat all afternoon, much to Mr C's annoyance, I suspect. One of my favourite things about it is that it has the words "old Joanna" (as in piano, I assume) in it. That doesn't happen very often in a pop song. It also has little laser beam shooty synthesiser sounds in it, which are quite endearing. If someone played it at a party I might even consider getting up and dancing, which, if you know me, should indicate to you how catchy and dance-making it is. Anyway, you've probably heard it for yourselves, so I'll stop wittering on. [I know the picture isn't of the right album, but I like this artwork better].

Alas, my music player has gone kaputt, and is going to be replaced, so I have been music-less on the train for the past few days. I have no idea what happened to it, but it just suddenly stopped working for no reason that I could fathom, and none of the suggested trouble shooting methods worked. Actually it's so kaputt that it wouldn't even restore the settings. I suspect it is built in obsolesence, which is rather annoying, because I've had it less than a year. At least they are going to replace it, but the point is that it shouldn't need to be replaced yet! Never mind.

Also playing chez Lilian this afternoon is Seth Lakeman, who, in total contrast to the Scissor Sisters, is a folk man from Devon. I don't know much about him, apart from the fact that he was in the same class as at school as someone I know, and he sings folk/folk rock/acoustic rock (is this an oxymoron?) songs. I like folk, and he seems like a decent sort of chap, so I bought his album. I'm quite glad I did, as it's an enjoyable delve into English folk music. It's not too 'folky' though, so it would be a good introduction to folk music for someone who isn't sure whether folk is quite their thing.

I always find folk music strangely comforting. I think it's because of the traditional nature of the songs and the fact that some of them have been sung for hundreds of years without much change. I'm quite glad about the folk music revival of recent years, because I think it's really important that we in the UK don't lose touch with our musical roots. English people in particular have a hard time finding something firm to cling on to traditions/language/music/roots-wise (in my opinion, maybe I'm wrong), but there is a whole load of traditional music out there for the listening. I know it's not to everyone's taste, but it is interesting, and I think it's important that people realise what a rich heritage we have, music wise.

Here endeth the lesson.

Next up we have hits from Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra, which are from Swing! The Ultimate Big Band Album, which is one of those compilations where you get about 40 tracks for £5.00. Big band music is the reason I learnt to play the bass guitar. In reality, I never made it to playing in a big band, but I did manage a concert orchestra, where we did occasionally play big band numbers (as well as endless film soundtrack music), so all was not lost, and it made me seem less geeky. Ok, maybe I just hoped it did. Anyway, I had some fun times with my bass, (as well as some not so fun ones involving lugging a large bass amplifier up and down stairs)despite possibly being the world's worst bass player. Anyway, Tommy Dorsey was a trombone player and band leader, and did a lot of collaborations with Frank Sinatra, that's about all I know about him, apart from the fact that he had a brother called Jimmy, who was also a band leader. The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra still exists to this day, but is now conducted by Buddy Morrow.

I'm not quite sure what the point of this post was, but it took me rather a long time to write, for some reason, so I'll keep it for your reading pleasure.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Well, it was finally the final of How do you solve a problem like Maria? last night. In case you didn't know, Connie won, and deservedly so, I think. As she said herself, she was consistent all the way through the competition. She really drew me in to her performances, and made me feel the most emotional, especially last night, when she sang As long as he needs me, a song she doesn't like, apparently! She seems to have the stamina and professionalism to play the role. Also, I think she wanted it the most out of all the would-be Marias. She had been auditioning for West End shows for a long time, and always coming second, so it was nice to think that she will now achieve her dream and not have to go back to tele-sales!

I thought Helena was great as well, though. Her performance of Do-Re-Mi was brilliant. Siobhan has a lovely sweet voice and she is very beautiful, but I think the panel were right in saying that maybe she wasn't yet ready for such a big role.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching all the 'episodes' that I watched, although I did take issue with some of the things they made the girls do. They seemed to have to sing a lot of non-musical theatre songs, which seemed a bit silly given that they were in competition for a role in a musical theatre production and not auditioning for Pop Idol. They also had to do an assault course one week, which I thought was particularly stupid. It was ostensibly to test their stamina, but completing an assault course in the fastest time doesn't mean that you're going to be able to perform in a musical eight times a week, as that involves a different kind of stamina. I was also a bit worried that the public wouldn't make the right choice. I think ALW took a massive risk when he decided to find 'Maria' using this method, but he certainly got his show a lot of publicity, and I think and hope that Connie will be able to pull off the role.

For those who may be interested

Thank you to those of you who have posted or emailed supportive, helpful and friendly things following the posting of the horrible comment. I thought some of you might like to know what happened next in the saga of going to the doctor, so here is a summary:

I went to the doctor's again and showed her the letter I'd written. She said she didn't know what to advise because I have so many abnormalities, which wasn't very encouraging! I'm going to contact my cardiologist and also follow some leads of my own to try and find out more information. At the moment though, Mr C and I are erring on the side of caution and thinking that the best plan might be to take the safest and most sensible option and not try to have children naturally. If we did decide we wanted to start a family later we would adopt, assuming we would be considered suitable adoptive parents.

Why are [some] people so horrible?

Following a particularly unpleasant comment posted on here last night/earlier today I have decided not to allow any more comments on this blog. I apologise to the nice people who have left comments in the past, but I don't want anything remotely resembling a repeat of what was posted here last night. I did consider deleting the blog, but have decided to continue for the time being, although I don't really feel like writing anything (except this short explanation) at the moment.

I may be being oversensitive, but these things get to me.

Recipe: Pork (or Chicken) with marmalade and stuff

This is one of Mr C's recipes. Again, I'm not sure how healthy this one is, but it tastes nice.

Ingredients:

• 1 pork steak or one chicken breast per person (fresh or frozen)
• 1 large onion
• Some marmalade
• Enough cheese to put on top of the pork/chicken
• Vegetable oil

Method:

1. Pre-heat the oven to 200 degrees
2. Put a small amount of vegetable oil in the bottom of a baking dish, so that the bottom of the dish is covered
3. Place the chicken/pork in the dish
4. Chop the onion and scatter over the pork/chicken
5. Put about half a tablespoon full of marmalade on each piece of meat
6. Put a thin slice of cheese on each piece of meat
7. Bake in the oven according to the instructions for cooking found on the meat packets
8. Check meat is cooked before serving
9. Serve with potatoes and/or fresh vegetable

Recipe: Fish Finger Korma

This is a recipe I made up in my student days. It has since become famous, appearing in the Choir Cookbook, and other people have even cooked it!

Ingredients:

• As much rice as you want per person
• 2 fish fingers per person
• 1 carton of coconut milk*
• Korma powder*
• 1 medium onion*
• 1 green pepper*
• Other veg of your choice*
• A bit of margarine or cooking oil

* All of these ingredients can be replaced by a jar of korma sauce, if you're feeling lazy.

Method:

1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees (or whatever it says on the fish fingers packet)
2. When oven is ready put in fish fingers, as per instructions
3. Boil water for rice in kettle
4. Put rice in saucepan and add boiling water
5. When rice has boiled turn right down to the lowest heat and leave to cook
6. When fish fingers are ready take them out of oven and turn oven off
7. Fry onion in oil/marge until transparent
8. Chop the fish fingers into four pieces and add to pan. Stir
9. Add vegetables to pan and stir
10. Add korma powder to taste. Stir
11. Add coconut milk and stir
12. Leave to simmer until rice is cooked or for a minumum of 10 minutes, stirring occassionally
13. When sauce and rice are cooked serve and eat

Steps 7-11 can be replaced with the adding of the jar of korma sauce.

The fish fingers can be replaced with tinned tuna, which should be drained of liquid before it is added.

Recipe: Pretend Pizza(s)

I just invented this recipe this afternoon, and I thought I would share it with you.

Ingredients:

• As many rounds/slices (depending on what you call them) of bread as you feel hungry enough to eat
• Tomato or brown sauce
• Cooked chicken or ham (if you are a carnivore)
• Vegetables of your choice (excluding carrots, which don't work well oven baked)
• Fruit of your choice
• 1 spring onion, or one quarter of one medium onion
• Cheese
• Garlic (if you like it)
• Worcestershire sauce (if you happen to have any)

Method:

1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees (sorry I don't know the equivalent gas mark)
2. Spread bread with tomato/brown sauce as thick as you like
3. If you are eating meat, tear up the chicken or ham and place on the bread
4. Chop onion, garlic (if you're using this) and veg and place on the bread
5. Slice cheese and place slices on top of the bread
6. Add a dash of Worcestershire sauce, if you have it
7. Place pretend pizzas in oven for 10 minutes, or until you smell burning
8. Take pretend pizzas out of oven
9. Turn off oven
10. Eat pretend pizzas

It's a nice easy thing to make if you're not in a cooking/making much effort mood. I'm not sure how healthy it is, but if you use plenty of veg and brown bread it might not be too bad.

A post that, despite its length, doesn't say much

Today, I was supposed to go into the city in which I work, and do several things, such as return library books, get my bag mended and take some unwanted books to the Oxfam (or similar) shop. However, I have not gone. There are a few reasons for this, shown here in no particular order:

• It's raining
• I go there every day to work
• It's a 45 minute train journey
• I am too lazy
• I know that if I go I'll do what I have to do and then mooch about aimlessly and possibly buy an item of clothing that I'll never wear

I will do the things I have to do in my lunch hour one day this week. Actually, in reality, I probably won't. The bag that needs to be mended has been loitering in the office for weeks, waiting for me to take it to the repair place. The books (or at least one of them) have been languishing in my desk drawer, also at work, waiting to be returned to the library.

I have just finished, and hence want to return to the library, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. It took a while to get into, and I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the end of its 900 or so pages, but it was worth the effort, and I enjoyed it.

Mr C has gone to London to see a friend and go to a wargames shop, which might be detrimental to his bank account.

I keep dreaming about the Library of Doom: even in my sleep I cannot escape. I wasn't feeling too bad about work this week, mainly because I wasn't there very much, had more important things to think about, plus Enemy Number One was away this week. Actually her absence wasn't entirely a good thing, as something has gone wrong with the Inter-Library Loan reports and, due to the distribution of power (or lack of it) in the Library of Doom, she is the only person who can potentially sort this out. I felt very sorry for the Singing Librarian this week, as, due to the ILL problem, he spent two days re-doing work he had already done.

Anyway, as I said, I wasn't feeling too bad about work, that was until Friday night, on the train home would you believe, when I was talking to two colleagues, and of course, we 'had' to talk about work, and the dreaded permissions came up in the conversation. I am having an ongoing 'guilt' phase regarding my part in the reduction of permissions on the issue desk computers. I won't go into the whys and wherefores of why the permissions have been reduced because they're boring. In fact, this whole paragraph is boring, but I will plough on until I get to the point...

Which is that this issue is a good example of me being weak and also not thinking things through. Both of these failings are common in my life, in fact they probably occur on a daily basis. Every [working] day I do something that makes me think that I'm rubbish at my job. It doesn't have to be anything very big or very wrong, just something.

Then I think, 'why do I worry so much about my job?'. It's not life and death, I work in a library, for goodness' sake! But it's my job, and I want to do it well, and I especially don't want my failings to make everyone else's lives difficult. It does make me a bit cross, though, that it makes me feel bad. This morning I woke up thinking about work, and, as I said, I even dreamt about it last night. This is not on! I don't want to waste my time away from work thinking and worrying about it. Surely my brain could find something better to do?

I have been thinking recently about my future career, and about what I really want to do. Starting the chartership process has helped me a bit with this, as I'm supposed to be setting goals and then planning how I'm going to achieve them. Of course, the problem is that I'm not really sure what I want. I'm not particularly enjoying work at the moment, and term hasn't even started yet! But I think this is due to too much worrying. I don't know whether I want to work as a Reader Services person forever - the complaining students/staff get very irritating/depressing after a [short] while. I said to Mr C last night that if I didn't like the people I work with so much I would probably not want to do my current job. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

So, maybe I could be an academic librarian/faculty liason librarian. This was my original plan after my trainee year, and it's still something I would still like to try. It does involve budgets, which involve numbers, but hopefully I could get some training in this. Well, I will see. Sometimes I think I might like to be something other than I librarian, but I'm not sure what that is, apart from bestelling author, academic, jazz singing sensation, teacher, prime minister, ballerina, doctor, or songwriter. Only one (maybe two) of these is actually achievable within the realms of reality, however.

Reality = I will stay where I am until it becomes financially unviable/I get sacked/Michael Buble (sorry I can't do the accent on the e) asks me to be his singing partner.

I just visited the Lipstick Librarian (I was searching for other blogging librarians) and it seems I cannot be a Lipstick Librarian, as I am currently wearing an item of clothing with a duck on it. Two ducks, in fact. Perhaps I wouldn't want to be one anyway.

I apologise for the length and whingy nature of this post.