I'm not sure whether I'm an anomaly amongst bloggers, but I feel a bit uncomfortable about people I know reading my blog. It's just disturbing to think that e.g. my colleagues could read all my inane ramblings and then I have to see them the next day at work after they have read about my fears of lying horizontally, for example.
Being read by fellow bloggers is not so disturbing, in a way, because fair's fair, I read their stuff and I think that, rightly, they should be subjected to my musings in return. [This is not entirely serious, I hasten to add - I enjoy reading other people's blogs very much]. Seriously though, somehow it is less worrying, maybe because...
[I must break off to tell you that there's a really odd version of 'Somewhere' from West Side Story on the radio at the moment. Very odd arrangement. Sounds like Barbara Streisand]
....I don't reallyknow why, but I think it is to do with them writing as well, and therefore, I assume, perhaps not being so judgmental about what other people write, knowing how it is to feel vulnerable about having their....
[It wasn't Barbara Streisand, it was Barbara Walsh, and it was supposed to be funny, apparently]
...work read and potentially judged by other people.
I suppose you could argue that I shouldn't write things I don't want people I know to read, but there are few people I know who read blogs. Also, having said all of the above this is going to sound weird, but the better I know someone the less worried I am that they'll judge me. So, for example, Mr C can read to his heart's content and I don't mind, but work colleagues I don't know very well* are more of a worry**. The exceptions to this 'rule' are parents and other relatives, whose judgement I still worry about, and who, it could be argued may not know me as well as they think.
As for people I don't know at all, I really don't mind what they think of me, so they can read as much as they like and (a), I probably won't know about it, and (b) I won't care.
If only I could draw a diagram I'm sure it would all become clearer.
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*Work colleagues I arguably don't know very well but who blog are less of a worry, because, rightly or wrongly, I feel like I know them better from reading their blogs, and they also come under the category of fellow bloggers (see above).
**No offence is intended by this statement.
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7 comments:
I totally know what you mean. I like the idea of strangers reading my blog, but when it comes to people I know personally, I tend to censor myself so as not to be judged too harshly. If I don't, I end up panicking about something I've said getting into the wrong hands. It's like when I was a kid passing notes in class. What if that note gets into the wrong hands and I'm confronted by it? Oh no!
:)
I know exactly what you mean. I had conniptions when I realised that a work colleague (a very nice work colleague, bright and sensitive and all desirable things in a reader) had a) read my blog and b)knew it was MY blog.
And I think I'd sooner chop my own foot off with a blunt spoon than let my Dad read my blog.
(I followed you home from the Singing Librarian's blog, BTW. I'm pretty sure we've never actually met before ever. Is that OK?)
Dear Anonymous and Reed,
Thank you both for your comments - I'm glad other people feel the same way.
Reed, all vistors are welcome! I don't think we've met before, but I've been enjoying reading your blog.
I do know what you mean, it is a bit peculiar knowing that random people you know might suddenly find your blog, and I agree that it's less worrisome if it's a fellow blogger. There are some subjects I avoid completely - if I can count the number of people I'd speak about it to in real life on my fingers then it's too private to be blogged about. The fact that I have suffered from mental problems is widely enough known for me not to worry, but other things will remain un-blogged.
Incidentally, I have conversed with Reed in Hyde Park and she is a most pleasant and erudite person.
David
I blush most magenta-ish.
The Singing Librarian is an exceedingly good person to chat to in the middle of Hyde Park. Or anywhere else, I shouldn't wonder.
There are limits to what I would blog about, as I'm sure is the case with most people.
However much I might want to rant about something (or someone), for example, the thought that the 'wrong person' might actually read it stops me. Some parts of my life will never be blogged about because either they relate to someone else who wouldn't like them being blogged about, or they're just too private/boring*/embarrassing.
[*Given my previous efforts you may have thought that nothing is too boring for me to blog about, but you would be wrong]
Having said that, sometimes it's easier to share things via blogging than by speaking. I think the reasons for this are:
(a) I find writing easier than speaking, and I'm generally more coherent when I write than when I speak [feel free to disagree if you know me - or laugh at the irony (if that's the right word)!]
(b)Despite 'the fear', it is probable that I won't actually know most of the people who read my blog
(c)If people do question or disagree with what I write, at least I can think about an answer and respond in my own time, rather than potentially being intimidated by face-to-face questioning.
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If 'real life' Reed is like I imagine her from reading her blog I can well believe that she is pleasant and erudite.
Reed, I can confirm that the Singing Librarian is a good person to chat to in places other than Hyde Park.
Did you see any swans? In Hyde Park, I mean!
Lilian is also a pleasant person to chat to, but this may or may not be the case in Hyde Park! Both of us tend to suffer from a verbal blockage, where thoughts are coming out perfectly coherently and then disappear into a pile of ums and ers. Writing allows you to delete all the ums and ers. :)
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