Theories on assertiveness and self-esteem

I don't know why I'm such a scaredy-cat [miaow] about some things. I suppose it's lack of assertiveness , which I am working on (i.e. trying to become more assertive, not less!). I wonder why some people are more assertive than others? I suppose it has a lot to do with upbringing and how your parents treated and responded to you, and also to do with past experience, as well as your own opinion of yourself as a person [level of self esteem], which is again influenced by upbringing etc. Parents can have a lot to answer for. I think assertiveness and/or self-esteem (for they are closely linked, I believe) can also be inherited from parents, or just absorbed by osmosis - the attitudes your parents/guardians have rub off on you.

If your parents don't think you have valid opinions, or don't let you express them at all, you're probably going to grow up to believe that what you think doesn't matter and might not have strong opinions about things at all until a much later age than other people (if at all). If you're always told what to do as a child and not given a choice, you're probably not going to be great at making decisions when you're an adult. Lots of negative criticism doesn't help either, leading to feelings of 'I'm not good enough, I'm never going to be good enough, I can't do anything right and I musn't do anything wrong, etc'. Equally, if your parents/guardians don't tell you when you've done well, you're either going to try and try but never feel you get it right, or just feel like you may as well not bother. Obviously, there is more to it than that, and these things are all generalisations and assumptions, but I'm not a psychologist and I'm just expressing my opinion.

I might write more about this another time.