Greatness

I think I may have used the word great a bit too often in that last post. I need to get a thesaurus.

Eyes

shutting...

Soooo sleepy. Must be the wine. Went out last night to see one of the library assistants in 'Me and My Girl', which was great. Very professional, D was great as the Honourable Gerald Bolingbroke. Very funny and great singing. It's the last night tonight. I guess by now they've finished. Went with some other people from work.

Have now successfully (I hope) installed Office 2003 on my computer, but still no FrontPage. Thought the version I had bought had it on, but obviously not. Still good discounted rate for CILIP members. Have also downloaded some more music from my own collection. The latest offering is Jack Johnson: In Between Dreams, bought today. I know, my music taste is soooo MOR, but I can't help it. Guess I am just a MOR kind of person.

Stayed over in the city last night, because of going to the show. Before that realised I had made an error with the rota - the lady who was down to come in was actually also going to the show, so obviously wasn't going to be coming in. So, I ended up staying at work then going to the theatre without going for the meal with the others. Luckily I had not eaten all my sandwiches at lunch time, plus we had had doughnuts, so could have been worse. Anyway, it was my own fault for not checking the rota.

H and husband came round today, which was really nice. They made us a photo album, with the photos printed in, for our wedding present. V nice. Went for Chinese lunch somewhere we hadn't been before, which was very good. Lots of food (3 courses) for under £6.00 each. Yum.

Guy on the train today was enthusing about his job to his new girlfriend and, guess what? He was a librarian!

Bee

Things have been really busy here recently....just general business - lots to do but nothing really exciting. Just things like cleaning, doing the garden, writing thank you letters, going to work etc. I have done quite a few late nights recently, as I had to swap some when I went away. Work has been quite stressful this week, as we have been short staffed and very busy at the same time - never a good combiation. Oh dear, my compy is crying for its battery...Fear not, it is ok now. Anyway, yes short staffed we were, due to illness and also people being in amateur operatics productions! I'm going to see one of them tomorrow night. As well as these, shelvers have been off and the shelving had got out of hand and was looking rather horrendous. However, everyone has mucked in to shelve and things are now looking better. Had to negotiate with D for people from his team to help on desk. He said no but said he would ask them to shelve, which did help. Politics. Hmm. Things are also a bit stressful because of uncertainty (still) about The Integration, aka ISS. Still no job descriptions and apparantly They want people to make a decision by Easter.

Enough about work, but what else is there to write about? What did I do at the weekend? Cleaned house, bought CD rack, which A put together. Put CDs into CD rack. Ohh I know, we watched all three episodes of the original Star Wars, which I had never seen in their entirity before, much to the horror of my husband and colleagues. Amusing thing of the week last week: E at work doing his impersonation of Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!" Hmm, ok this doesn't work so well in print. Enjoyed SW, especially the aforementioned AA, who of course I looked forward to throughout the whole series, and Yoda and the 'man' himself Darth Vadar. Poor DV.

Why do I abbreviate so much? Because I am lazy.

So now I have officially joined the cultured ones I can talk about SW with my colleagues instead of thinking about what to say to Ms Bloggs who doesn't want to pay her fines why should she she should of [sic] been sent a notice she relies on them why should she take responsibility for her own books/degree/life when there are librarians to do it for her? Oops did I mention work again? I am obsessed, I apologise. In fact, I am so obsessed that I checked my work email from Changi airport in Singapore while on honeymoon. The shame.

Maybe I just worry too much.

H is visiting this weekend and the house is not clean. Hate house not being clean when we have visitors but not sure when I am going to clean unless I do it Saturday morning before she and T get here. However, on Sat. a.m. I also have to get back from work and get a day's parking permit, in order to avoid H getting a potential £60 parking fine. Have bought bird feeder for garden. We cut down the budleia (not sure how to spell this, sorry) the other Sunday, and now have about 1o black sacks full of branches to get rid off. N offered to take them to the tip for us, before we asked (although I would have done if he hadn't offered, such is my keenness to get rid of the bags). We tried putting the bags out for the bin men, but they didn't take them because they weren't in the requisite brown sacks. I was not amused, although we should have known better than to try to gain their sympathy with a note explaining our lack of brown sacks.

Watched The Office the other night. The best bits of that are the shots of the office and the sounds of the noises people make when they are pretending to work, even though everyone knows they're not working and are doing an equal amount of non-work themselves. Been there, done that. Genius.

Better slope off, sloth-like, to bed.

Wedding and work

So, the wedding has now taken place! Here is a summary of events:

It was a lovely day, weatherwise and everything else. We were very blessed with the weather, as the days either side of our wedding day were quite grey and damp. Was I nervous? Well, I had a 'slight' panicky phase at about 2.30 am on the morning of the wedding, but I put on some music and got back to sleep after a while. I was fine thereafter until I walked into the church and saw everyone in the congregation, and then I felt really overwhelmed and quite emotional. I didn't cry really, but tears escaped and my nose ran (and continued to do so for most of the service, quite amusingly - I had to surreptitiously get a tissue from Helen and pass it to my dad to keep in his pocket!). I think the overriding feeling of the day for me was that I felt really loved. People came a long way for the wedding - my aunt from Australia, A's parents from Malaysia and friends and family from all over the UK.

The service went well, despite some small amusing incidents like me having to force the ring onto A's finger, A's grandad (who was doubling as the vicar) dropping his prayers and also going to the wrong way for the signing of the register! But we said our vows ok, signed in the right places and enjoyed it. We had lots of photographs taken outside the church, and a few inside. The flowers were lovely. We had dark pink (almost red) and cream roses, and thistles (blue). Helen was a great bridesmaid and looked really good in her blue dress. The flower guild ladies did a great job in the church - we had a pedestal and pew-ends. Our next-door neighbour also did some arrangements for the top table at the reception, which were really nice.

It was good to see everyone at the reception - we tried to speak to everyone by going round all the tables. The catering was excellent - we had chicken and mango salad, beef bourginoine (sp?), and vegetable canalloni and various accompanying salads. For pudding we had pavlova, banoffee pie and fruit crumble. We had cordials and elderflower champagne for drinks. Dad, Adrian (the best man) and A were all quite nervous about doing their speeches, but they were all good. A got off quite lightly in the best man's speech! We had lots of balloons in pink, gold and blue. Dave's son Luka's toy cat got tied onto some and floated about balanced with jelly beans so he didn't float up to the ceiling. Phew.

We had lots of chats with lots of people - shame we didn't have more time with each person/group. The time seemed to go by really quickly. We've had some good photos already, from A's mum and dad and Elle.

Since I went back to work on Monday it seems like a long time ago - even the honeymoon seems like it happened in another world. I guesss that's what going back to work does - back to reality! Still it hasn't been too bad going back. It was nice to see everyone again. Nothing much had happened while I was away. At least that's what I was told...but then I found out that our team has a new line manager! It turns out the people who said nothing much had happened hadn't been listening in one of the meetings they had while I was away! It's good really - we have been line-manager-less for a while, which hasn't been ideal.

And also...we had doughuts.

Some belated New Year's Eve pictures:

Warrior, Portsmouth Harbour

Sunset on Portsmouth Harbour

February

This month is going to be really busy, mainly due to the fact that I'm getting married in 2 weeks and 2 days time! I realise I haven't really mentioned the wedding a lot in this blog. I think this is because I have had to think about so often it has been nice not to write about it as well. However, now it is nearing I think it is a legitimate thing to write about and share with all my millions of readers.

I had my second hen thing on Friday night. Went with some of the women from work to a middle eastern/meditteranean restaurant and ate lots of food.

Mr C has his stag do this weekend. I think he's a bit concerned about what is in store for him. There are 11 of them going to London. I think they have quite packed itinerary. His brother is coming to stay on Friday, but I won't be here as I'm going to the quiz at work then staying over til Saturday, when I'm at work again.

One week or so later....

Only one week and one day to go! Still a few last things to do , i.e.:

• Go for dress fitting tomorrow
• Give Mum table plan and final numbers for guests
• Buy more place name cards in case of mistakes
• Practice make up (might not bother with this)
• Buy suitcases for honeymoon
• Write place cards
• Make and fill favour boxes
• Clean house for estate agent's visit...and more importantly almost-in-laws visit at the weekend
• Make sure my brother can be my witness
• Check information is ok on parish register
• Get currency for honeymoon
• Have hair cut
• Pack for honeymoon

Hmm...not too bad - have done quite a few things this week already, so the list is not quite as scary as it looked at the weekend. I am off work tomorrow for dress fitting, then back for two days next week. After that I'm off home to get stressed. It's my birthday next week as well - not sure how I'm going to fit that in!

23:06

Has now turned into 23:30, and here I am, still typing away. The wedding is approaching fast. I have another dress fitting tomorrow, so another epic journing awaits me. Hopefully it won't be too bad, despite the replacement bus service part of the way.

Had my driving lesson today. My instructor says I should be able to do some practice tests in a few weeks. I am finding it quite boring now - well, I am either bored or scared, neither of which it is great to be whilst driving! But I know I'm not ready for my test quite yet, so I have to keep going for a while longer.

Brrrruuummmm!

Cluck!

Yesterday, I had my hen day. It was actually an unexpected hen day, in a way. I invited two friends to meet in the city, but wasn't planning to do anything specifically hen-like - little did I know they had been plotting, along with A.

The day didn't start off very well. Work phoned (see other blog), and that was a bit of a worry. Then I realised that we couldn't get a direct train from our house to the city, because of engineering works, so we were going to be late meeting the friend who had travelled (for four hours!) to be there. Also, the other friend and her husband were a bit late arriving. Friend A (the one 4 hours away), is not known for her patience, and does not like to be messed about, so I was a bit worried about what she would say when we arrived. However, when we eventually met up (after leaving the boys in Debenhams), she was actually not too bad, considering. I did feel really bad, because the mess up(s) were due to my disorganisation.

Anyway, we had lunch in Wagamama, which I always call Wagamama's. I'm sorry. Hmm what did I have - chicken curry (excellent) and coconut ice cream (also excellent). I love Wagamama['s]. Whilst I was happily contemplating the menu, I was informed that I would have to answer a set of questions about A, and for every one I got wrong I would have to do a forfeit. Eep! I actually did ok, but still ended up doing quite a few embarassing things in the restaurant, and in the high street! Could have been worse though. They also took me for a free makeover at the department store (my first one, and the first time I've worn make-up in public (apart from ballet shows as a child)), which I a bit scared about - but it was fun! Got a lot of good tips for doing make up for the wedding.

Other things unsuitable for blogging happened, but nothing too wild - this is me after all!

Friend A left at about 4.30pm, but Friend A husbands/fiances went back to our house for tea and played "Mr and Mrs" , which was fun. Drank wine, looked at photos and talked about marriage. It was a good evening, and a good day. Thank you friends.

Early in the morning

Aggh it's 1.02 am and I am still up! Mr C is watching Gladiator - it's near the end now. I have been messing about with the computer. Somehow, Excel has disappeared! It's really weird. The rest of Office is fine. If anyone has any ideas about what could have happened, please let me know!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new layout (all of my thousands of readers!), and hope you had a good Christmas or Hanukah or Yuletide or holiday as applicable.

Gingerbread Haus

Here is our gingerbread Haus which we made last weekend. Mr C's colleague had a gingerbread house making party. Lots of people in a small flat had fun making the houses. Some people also expanded into small village buildings. We also enjoyed eating Margaret's delicious pasta. Here is the other side of the house:



Apparantly making gingerbread houses is a German tradition. They're usually broken up and eating on boxing day - I think that's right. Ours is still intact, although we have been eating the occasional sweet off the top. I'm not sure how long it will last.

Tete a Tete

I finally managed to attend a Tete a Tete session at CCJ on Tuesday. I have been very remiss in not attending any before. My excuse is that I don't live in London, and they're held on a Tuesday evening, so it can be difficult to get there. This week, we had a committee meeting beforehand, so I went and combined the two. I was late leaving work because I got asked questions at the last minute, even as I was walking out of the office in my coat, and consequently missed the train I was aiming for. I was going to be late even if I had got the train, so I wasn't sure whether to go or not, but phoned Louise, and decided to go and stay for Tete a Tete.

On the way to CCJ I managed to slip over on Victoria Station (should I sue?!) and now have some great bruises, to go with the one still on my hand from the CAT scan drip. Nice. I was already cross due to (a) being late, and (b) having to queue to exchange my ticket bought on the train for a Travelcard, so (c) falling over was the final straw. Anyway, I made it in the end, for about 15 minutes of the meeting!

Glad I went though as T a T was good. We were talking about taking texts out of context. We looked at a variety of text including one by Roland Barthes, one from Isaiah, one from Mark's Gospel and a parody addressed to Jerry Falwell. Bizarre mix, but all good for the brain. It's really easy to let your brain go rusty, as it were. Although I do have to think about things in my work, it's not the same kind of thinking as the sort of thinking we were doing on Tuesday night, which was of a more philosophical nature I suppose. In a way I think I prefer that kind rather than the day to day kind, which seems more complex. I suppose this is because at work I'm dealing with real people rather than concepts or ideas, and people are unpredicatable and complicated in way that even the most complex idea isn't. Am I making sense? I do wonder.

This week at work was not so good. Mainly because of one incident, which I am doubtless overreacting to. Sometimes one bad thing just overshadows everything else and weighs me down. Basically I was told I should do something, did it, and then was criticised (by someone other than the person who told me to do it) for doing it and for how I'd done it. It wasn't major, but it just reinforced my opinion that I am bad at my job. My lovely team were sympathetic and agreed that you can't do anything without your head being bitten off by someone or other. The place is a hive of mis-communication. I am trying to address my part in the hive, and it's hard work. So, Wednesday night I was not happy, and was still not happy on Thursday morning. It's unusual for bad mood to carry over to the next day. Thursday was better though, and then it was Friday (no way!), and now it's the weekend...but I have a feeling Monday will involve more (mis/non)communication-related stress. It's not my fault I tell you! (But sometimes I feel like it is).

Happy Birthday Miffy!

This year is Miffy's 50th birthday! There is a good exhibition on at the museum in town at the moment. It's really interesting to see how Dick Bruna created (and creates) the Miffy books. She even has her own website now - click here to view.

That book again

I've finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife now. It was beautifully written and incredibly sad. Like the reviewer below, I've been crying about it even when I haven't been reading the book. I really recommend it. Go and read it if you haven't already.

Anyway, here's a review from Michael Farrelly of Bookslut, that says it all.

Haunted by a book

I'm being haunted by The Time Traveler's Wife at the moment. By that I mean I keep thinking like the characters, and lines from it keep going through my head. It's a lovely book. It's made me cry about ten times already, and I haven't got to the end yet. This can be slightly inconvenient when on the train to work! Definitely recommended. The book that is, not crying*.



*Actually, in some cases this is recommended, for reasons of catharsis und so weiter (as Henry would say).

CAT scan

Today didn't begin very well. I used Mr C's keys to open the door and left them in the lock as we went out. Not knowing this, and thinking I had taken them out, Mr C shut the door, locking us out. I had my keys with me but obviously they wouldn't work as the other keys were still in the lock on the other side. So, panic ensued, but I had to go to catch the train. Mr C waited til the estate agents opened and got a spare set of keys and got in through the back door and all was well.

Meanwhile, I got the train, which then became very delayed, and I missed my slot for my CT scan. I had to go and have a CT scan because the consultant hasn't been able to see my replacement valve very well on the echocardiograms I've been having. This is because of the position of my heart/the valve I think. At first she sent me for an MRI scan, but this was not a success - see previous entry. So, she scheduled the CT scan for today. Anyway, they fitted me in. My pulse was a bit fast (probably due to me being scared), so I had half a sedative, and then went for the Echo while it kicked in. Then I went back to the CT scanning place.

The CT scan is a lot better and less scary than an MRI scan. I probably would have been fine and not fussed at all, apart from the fact that I had to have a drip in my hand through which they injected dye to show up the arteries and vessels. I hate needles. It wasn't pretty. The consultant radiographer (who put in the drip) was great and just told me to stop whinging. I'm serious about him being great by the way! It took two attempts to get the drip in - I have very small and uncooperative veins. Anyway, the scan itself was fine, although my hand hurt and I was still scared, but I could see the radiographers in their little room, so that made me feel more reassured. They got some could pictures, which was the main thing.

After the scan, I went to see the consultant. It was my last appointment with her, as she is retiring at Christmas. She was pleased with the pictures. They show that the valve is narrowing slightly, but it's not bad enough to need treatment at the moment. I will just go for yearly appointments again now, and have it kept an eye on. She said I'm ok to go on long haul flights, which was a relief - thought I'd better check before the honeymoon!

After I'd finished at the hospital, I went back into London. I had an appointment with a student from UCL, who is doing a study about how people with long term medical conditions cope (or not), and why some people cope better than others. The study is focussing on people with Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia (PCD), which I have. It was interesting to take part in the study. Basically I just had to be interviewed about how having PCD may have affected my life, and the lives of my family. I'm not sure how representative I am, as my symptoms are not very severe now. They were more so when I was a child, so I was able to talk about how it affected my childhood. Because I have/had other medical conditions, such as the 'heart thing' it was tricky to separate out the effects of the PCD as opposed to anything else. Hopefully I was of some use.

The train on the way back was also delayed. I am very tired from everything today.

Little fluffy clouds

Yes, I know, I'm a bit late reading this one cos everyone else has already ready it (?), but this is my train read of the moment. The cover on the left is the UK cover, and the one on the right is from the US. I think I prefer the UK version, although the US one is also nice. Anyway, I haven't finished it yet - I'm just about right in the middle. I'm enjoying it. I bought it a long time ago, but had put off reading it, because I was a bit intimidated by it, to be honest. I really only bought it because of the hype (yes, I admit it!), and because I liked the cover. It's nice and shiny in real life. Each story is interesting in its own right, but I am kept reading by my desire to know what happens in the end of each one, and how the bigger picture unfolds. The devices he uses are clever - and have the desired effect of making you want to read on. The use of different writing styles and forms of language are also clever, but some can be an effort to read, especially the middle section. The little mysteries are important, as they keep the reader wanting to read, when otherwise they might be tempted to give up. This isn't a very profound review of a book that gives off such an air of profundity, but I haven't finished it (the book) yet. Also, I am never sure whether I like books where the author uses so many devices. They make me suspicious that the author is trying to get everyone to see how clever he is, but only because that's the kind of thing I would do if I was an author.

Why is it that actors can be big fat and flabby, but actresses can't? And why aren't actresses called actresses anymore? Do people think that 'actor' sounds more like a serious profession, is it a weird attempt at equality - or what?

It's so cold here. Really bitter now, with a sharp wind for good measure. Even the short walk from the station to home was enough today. Apparantly it's supposed to get worse over the weekend! We have had a few frosts this week - I almost slipped on some frosty bits on the way to the station. The potential for slipping is one of the things I don't like about winter, in fact it's probably the thing I like least about it. I do like sunny winter days though.

We had Staff Development again today at work. It was all about effective communication again, but this time about how knowing yourself can be an aid to effective communication. We studied three psychological theories to do with the ways people communicate: Eric Berne's Transational Analysis (TA), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Intelligence (EI/EQ). In the TA self analysis bit I came out as equal adult and child modes and slightly less parent-y (scores of 12, 12 and 10 respectively). As the person leading the session said, I need to have a much lower child score if I am in a supervisory role. I could definitely see that I am in a kind of constant battle between my adult and child modes, and I need to make sure that it's the adult who 'wins' more often. I think one reason I came out with such a high 'internal child' score was that I don't like making decisions, which in turn comes from lack of confidence. The session leader said later that I am actually a logical person (=internal adult=good manager/communicator) but my failures as a supervisor come from lack of confidence, and I agree. It has always been a problem for me, and I must try and use some of the techniques I'm learning now to try to overcome it, and bring the 'internal adult' to the fore.

Le Weekend

This weekend hasn't been terribly exciting. A went to London yesterday, to meet up with his siblings (and T, as it turned out). They had quite a good day - went to the usual place in Chinatown, then had Thai for dinner, and talked about various things. These included the lack of alcohol at the wedding.

We have decided not to have alcohol at the wedding, partly because the wedding is at 11.00 and will be over by 5. 00pm (not usual drinking time and people might be driving home the same day), and partly because we thought Dad would prefer it. T and A's sister wanted to know whether they could bring their own wine, and was talking about providing "a crate" of wine. I am not sure whether they think we are not having alcohol because parents don't want to pay for it and are being kind (especially in T's case), or whether they really don't think they can sit through a wedding without alcohol. More than either of these two reasons I think it may be that they haven't read the info where it says about the timings of the wedding and reception and/or think we are having an evening do and don't want to have to dance without drinking (in which case I can sympathise slightly). Before I rationalised it with A I felt quite offended - why can't people just accept our decision and leave it alone. It's our wedding!

To add to the negative feeling going around when A told me about the conversation, it turns out he thought that the proposed lack of alcohol at the wedding was a direct order from Dad, even though I had never said this. I had said I thought it was what Dad would prefer, and that's why I thought we made the decision not to have any, and I thought A was happy with that. However, he wasn't really but didn't say anything and now it's too late because we've talked about the drinks with the caterer and sent out lots of invitations saying that the drinks served will be non-alcoholic. Anyway, people can bring their own if they really feel they can't do without - maybe they will be ok once they actually read the info and see what time we are supposed to finish.

I stayed at home and did the cleaning. I also put some new photos up in the lounge, in a frame I got bought when I left my opening envelopes job 3 years ago. It only had one picture in it, which was cut from a card. It has three pictures in now and is looking better. I also took a photo of me out of a frame and put in one of me, A and A's family (apart from his brother) with the swans in Hyde Park. After that, I blogged - started putting my dissertation into a blog about Libraries and the Second World War.

Today, not much has happened. I helped with Sunday school. A has put his name down for the refreshments, door and reading rota. We went to Debenhams for lunch and I went to try and find Ralph Lauren's "Ralph" body lotion for H's birthday. Looked in Deb's, Boots and Superdrug, but no one stocks it. Maybe I need to go to a bigger store. Or maybe it doesn't exist! This afternooon we chased people for addresses - half of A's friends haven't had their invitations yet, because he doesn't know their new addresses, and they haven't responded to messages left. We got hold of a couple of people. A talked to his friend in Malaysia - I'm scared of the phone bill now! I talked to him on MSN - much cheaper! He and A are very similar. They were at school together.

I had my new patient appointment at the doctor's on Friday night. It was an amusing experience. I think the Dr is a bit eccentric, or maybe he is just very American (or Canadian - I don't want to offend). He said, 'have you had any serious illness in the past?', I said yes...and handed him my medical notes. He looked at them and said 'Oh my God' after every item he read (imagine in an American accent for a more amusing effect), and told me to photocopy the summary of my notes. Apparantly my blood pressure is ok - I wasn't sure it would be, given the stress of work etc recently.

It feels really late - more like 10.30 than 9.30. I must stop typing. I think I may be obsessed!

Wow!

Wow, my posts are so boring that no one can even be bothered to vote on how boring they are! That has to be an achievement.

I sent the invitations - well, my half of the invitations anyway. Mr C still has to find addresses for most of his friends and family. He was supposed to phone some people tonight, but has not! Apparantly he can tell how stressed I am by the speed of my typing - the faster I type, the more stressed I am. Beware!

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is on (hence the above pic). It's a good'un, but not as good as the first one.

Here's an article that made me think, and made me ashamed, this week:

Supposing...We all had instant suicide buttons on our heads

Lacking in motivation

I am supposed to be putting wedding invitations into envelopes (along with the 3 pages of information for guests, the maps and the response forms), but instead here I am writing this waste of time (no one reads it as far as I know). Thought I would take the opportunity while Mr C is out. He's gone bowling. I wrote the spiel over the weekend, and printed and copied everything at work (the advantages of being able to put 5000 copies credit on your card for free). After I had made seventy copies of the spiel and we had stapled all the pages together seventy times, Mum emailed me to say she had made a "faux pas" with the info about car parking charges she provided me with! Nice one. We're just going to pen in the amendment.

The Bourne Identity is on. It's a good film. I think I've read the book. My brother's got it.

Hey, my iPod arrived. It took me a while to get it working, as it wouldn't fit properly into the USB port on my computer, so I had to buy a USB extension cable. The guy in the shop tried to sell me the wrong type, but luckily I persuaded him not to. It is great to be able to listen to so much music on the train and the iPod is a lot better to carry in my bag than my CD player. And, once I got the lead, I found it easy to use.

I really need to wash my hair, but this is another thing I can't be bothered to do.

Well, I can't avoid it any longer - must do invitations.

Is this the most boring blog you've ever read? Vote now.

Stuff on my cat

http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

Amusing cat site! Maaaaooowwwwww!